I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
