We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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