Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
