Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He is an equal opportunity slut.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
