Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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