before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
