I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
