you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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