How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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