just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
