I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
