sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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