sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
