honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
