i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
