my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
