May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
