I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
