even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
