he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
