Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
