oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
