Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
