Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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