She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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