I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's rum buckets o'clock
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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