Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
