names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
