It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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