so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
