Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
