epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
