if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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