Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
