someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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