so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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