Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
