Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
