so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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