I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
