beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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