Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize