Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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