it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
