A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
