Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
