Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have post one night stand depression
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
