He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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