Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
