walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
