you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
