So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
