you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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