you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
