Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
