my sisters under your porch take her home
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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