Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize